To See You Again
by LilyWafiq
Summary: Brennan's affected more than she lets on after the events of Wannabee in the Weeds
1. Chapter 1

**To See You Again**

**A/N: First published Bones fic. Not the first I've written. Will have M rated themes in later chapters. I was watching Wannabee in the Weeds, and feeling all angsty, so I wrote this. I've enjoyed it so far, so hopefully it won't take too long for me to come up with an ending. I hope you all enjoy :D**

Spoilers: Wannabee in the Weeds, Pain in the Heart

Disclaimer: So don't own anything... which sucks heaps. But I do own DVDs! *sigh*

"Dr Brennan, I at least think you should express your emotions to yourself, even if you can't to me."

Dr Lance Sweets was looking at Temperance Brennan, concern clear in his eyes.

"I don't have any feelings on the matter, Sweets. I don't need to express anything to myself." Brennan snapped back.

"I think you're wrong. This affected you, and continues to affect you deeply."

"It didn't, and it isn't."

"At least try to get the feelings out. Write a letter."

"To whom?"

"To Booth."

"Booth is dead, Sweets. What's the point of writing him a letter?" Brennan felt a sudden pang as she heard Booth's name, but kept it hidden from Sweets.

"It acts a way to channel what you're feeling. It give you an outlet." Sweets looked at her closely. "You're upset."

"I'm not. Booth and I were colleagues. Nothing more. I am sad that the FBI lost one of their finest, but on a personal level…"

"He was more than a colleague to you, wasn't he?" Sweets asked. "You spent so much time together. You were best friends."

Brennan felt the tears begin to well up in her eyes, so she stood and left Sweets' office, not wanting him to see her cry, to see the extent of the pain Booth's death had caused her.

Later that night, sitting on her bed, Brennan began to write. She sat hunched over a piece of paper, pen in hand. She started the page with 'Dear Booth'. She stared down at the page.

"This is stupid." She sighed. But she kept writing.

---

Dear Booth,

This is probably the most irrational thing I've done, but Sweets says it'll make me feel better. Personally, I don't see how writing a letter to a dead person will help, but perhaps it will. He doesn't know how I feel, anyway. I try to keep my calm and collected persona up while I'm at work, and that works until someone mentions you specifically by name. I honestly don't know how I am going to cope without you here, beside me. You are mu link to the outside world. You are patient with me if I don't understand something, and you never leave me alone in situations when I need you. And I do need you, I need you so much, Booth. You're my best friend, my, if I fully understand the meaning of the word, my soulmate. But you're gone now, gone forever, and I believe your soul is in heaven, even if I don't believe in it myself, but you do, and that's what matters. I've lost my soulmate, Booth. I've lost you. And now, I'm lost. Before I met you, I lived a life of anthropology, I lived in my work. But you changed that, you took me into the world and changed my life. I'm a better person now, because of you. And I thank you for that. I'll miss you Booth. Always. You will always hold a place in my heart, and I'll never forget you. You were the best thing that ever happened to me. You were always there when I needed you. You always gave me space if I needed it. You gave me my life back. You found my mother, my father, my brother. I never thanked you enough for anything. I took you for granted, you were always just there. Always ready to take me home when I needed sleep; to take me to the diner when I needed food; to provide me with much needed company. You really are fantastic. You always will be in my mind, and never far from my thoughts.

Lastly, to lose yourself in another person is something I've not fully achieved, but if I was to try to break the laws of physics with anyone, it would be you. I'm fairly certain I was, am, in love with you. And that wound, the pain of your death will not easily heal, but I am Dr Temperance Brennan. I will persevere, I will recover from this as I do any other emotional problem. Goodbye, Seeley.

Yours forever,

Bones. (And I never told you, that nickname made me feel special. Only you are allowed to call me that.)

---

Brennan woke the next morning and sighed. Another day to face without Booth. His funeral was today. She wasn't going to go. No point in going. It wouldn't give her any sort of closure. It would only serve to make her grief worse. Brennan wiped her eyes, and stopped the silent crying that had become her morning ritual. Booth wouldn't want this. He would want her to be strong, to continue being the centre. To hold. To keep the team together. She could do that. She could keep them together. With a new resolve, she got out of bed and dressed for the day ahead.


	2. Chapter 2

**To See You Again**

**A/N: A lot of the dialogue in this chapter comes directly from The Pain in the Heart, so if it sounds familiar, that'll be why. I've added my own spin on the feelings of the characters, and they way they react to each other.**

**Enjoy.**

Brennan stood, only half listening to Caroline Julian talk about Booth.

"I would have happily taken that bullet." She whispered loudly to Angelo Montenegro.

"I know." Angela replied.

Brennan turned back to listen to Caroline.

"May God's mercy and love shine on Seeley Booth as he takes his place beside the Lord." Caroline said.

Brennan turned to Angela, and said, "If there were a merciful God, why wouldn't he have saved Booth?"

Angela said nothing.

Brennan watched as the funeral progressed, until a fight broke out. She frowned. Why were two men fighting at Booth's funeral? The coffin was knocked aside, revealing a plastic dummy. Brennan's heart leapt, she quickly fixed a gaze on the fighting men.

"Booth." She breathed quietly to herself, feeling relief before the anger set in. He was alive! And he hadn't told her! She picked up the plastic dummy's arm and belted the other guy over the head with it, knocking him out. She dropped the arm and advanced on Booth.

"Bones! Nice shot." He said, smiling. "What?" He asked, seeing the look on her face.

Brennan, fuelled by anger, hit Booth across the face, knocking him to the ground. Then, while he was on the floor, she walked away.

Confusion was not a common feeling to Temperance Brennan, but that's exactly what she was feeling as she barged into Booth's house, and into his bathroom. She was still angry, but also confused. What did he feel for her? Why couldn't he tell her he was alive?

After a short discussion about Booth's choice of head gear while in the bathtub, Brennan turned to business.

"You should have told me that you weren't dead." She said.

"I already explained this to you. The bureau has to vet everyone when there is a security issue. I was just following protocol." Booth replied from his spot in the bathtub, naked.

"Protocol!?" Brennan snapped back.

"Yes!"

"We've been partners for three years, Booth, and you've broken protocol before, sometimes putting my life in danger. Which makes sense because you clearly don't have any real concern for me." Brennan looked hurt.  
Booth stood up angrily. "I took a bullet for you!"

"Once! That only goes so far." Brennan chocked out, emotion evident in her voice. She glanced downwards towards Booth's crotch. "Would you like a towel?" She asked, trying to keep her eyes on Booth's face, and not other parts of his anatomy. The image of Booth's naked body would be permanently etched into her mind for the rest of her life.

Booth sank back down into the bath.

They finished their conversation, ending with Booth promising to find out why Brennan wasn't told he was dead.

The conversation wrapped up with a lighter topic of discussion.

"What are you reading?" Brennan asked.

"A novel." Booth replied.

Brennan looked at the comic, then at Booth.

"It's a graphic novel." Booth said, defending himself.

Brennan turned to leave, but then turned back. "Just so you know, I find your lack of Puritan modesty very refreshing."

Booth lowered the comic book down in front of his crotch and watched as Brennan left the room.

Talking to Lance Sweets was always an experience, and not always one Brennan wanted to remember. As she, Sweets and Booth walked down into the Gormogon vault, Brennan, in a very un-Brennan-like way, brought up the unresolved issues between herself and Booth.

"Well, for all we know, Gormogon is dead and we're not on the list of people who get to find that out." She said snidely.  
"There's s cry for attention." Sweets said.

"Bones broke into my house last night, all angry…" Booth started.

"There was a key!" Brennan interrupted.  
"…because no one told her that I was dead. And I was just following protocol."

"Broke into your house?" Sweets sounded sceptical.  
"There was a key." Brennan said again.

"And barged into my bathroom." Booth continued as though no-one had interrupted.  
"What were you doing?" Sweets asked with a laugh.

"He was drinking beer and reading a comic book." Brennan supplied.  
"I was taking a bath." Booth said.

"You read comics and drink beer naked?"

"Wait a second." Booth said. "Bones bursts into MY bathroom, alright, and I'm weird for being naked?"

Brennan rolled her eyes at the two men, and continued on her way to the vault.

Later, Brennan was sitting in her office when Booth dragged Sweets in.

"Go ahead, tell her." Booth said.

"Tell her what?"

"Tell me what?"

"Tell her now." Booth prompted.

"What?" Sweets asked, sounding confused.

"Fine. I'll tell her. Okay?" Booth said. "I sent my list to the bureau. They sent it to Sweets." He turned to Sweets. "You were the one who decided not to tell Dr. Brennan that I was still alive. He's the one that you should have slugged, so do it. Go ahead and do it now."

"What? You choose not to tell me?" Brennan asked.

"Yes, it's true. Technically." Sweets replied sheepishly.

"Technically?" Booth asked.

'Okay, I reviewed the list and decided, knowing Dr. Brennan as I do, that she was in fact able to handle your death." Sweets said.

"Slug him." Booth said to Brennan with an encouraging grin.

"It was a National Security issue. The fewer people that knew Agent Booth was alive, the safer he would be." Sweets was defending himself now.

Brennan thought it over. "I think that was a good choice."

"Awesome." Sweets sounded relieved, as though he'd dodged a bullet, or in this case, a punch.

"You do?!" Booth exclaimed.

"Yes." Brennan said to Booth, then turned to Sweets. "You knew that Booth's death was something that I could deal with because I can compartmentalise."

"Woah. Wait a minute. Now why are you mad at me then?" Booth suddenly looked confused, and Brennan suddenly felt a strange emotion, and she suddenly wanted to hold Booth close and explain to him why he was so confused.

"Because you should have told me, personally." She said.  
"Oh, I should have just ignored National Security concerns, broken the law and told you." Booth loaded his voice with sarcasm.

"Yes. You know I'm very trustworthy."  
"Yeah, but Sweets..." Booth felt that the conversation was suddenly turning against him.

"Sweets made a professional decision. He knew I could process your death and move on. Which is precisely what I did." Brennan saw something flicker over Booth's face. Hurt? Discomfort? What was it?

"That's right." Sweets said.

"There's gotta be other stuff going on here, right?" Booth asked, trying to take focus off himself.  
" What?" Sweets asked.

Booth shrugged. "Transference. Uh, paranoia. Come on! I mean, when I offer her a piece of pie you say it has deeper meaning."  
"I don't like pie, Booth." Brennan said.

"Well, apple pie. She doesn't like baked pie." Booth said to Sweets.

"I don't like my fruit cooked." Brennan explained.  
"Okay, changing the subject is a way to avoid your feelings." He was slipping into psychologist mode.

"My feelings. Okay, now you're attacking my feelings?" Booth asked. He sighed, and the conversation was interrupted by Cam.

Brennan brought up the topic with Sweets again when they were back on their way to the Gormogon vault. Brennan let Booth go ahead, then turned to Sweets.

"You think I don't recognize an experiment when I see one?" She asked. "You experimented on us."

"Beg your pardon?" Sweets asked.

"Not telling me Booth was alive? You wanted to quantify our reactions for your own research? You took advantage of us. Booth and I agreed to let you observe us. We did not agree to be used as lab rats, so you better cut it out." She replied.

"Dr. Brennan, why are you talking so fast?" Sweets asked.

"Because if Booth hears why you did what you did? He'd beat ya up." Brennan almost felt as though she was threatening to set Booth on the boy. She was surprised to realise that she enjoyed it.  
"Don't you think that'd be an overly aggressive act?" Sweets asked, sounding a little worried.

"Not at all." Brennan replied. "So you better not do it again."

She left Sweets on the stairs, and returned to Booth when he called her.


	3. Chapter 3

**To See You Again**

**A/N: Man I wish real life could be like the stuff I write. I write stuff that I look at and say, 'it really sucks my life can't be that good.' I feel pretty crummy at the moment, so I needed to write something a little happier, so the end of this chapter is a bit lighter. I think I'll enjoy writing the next chapter. Perhaps it'll make me feel happier…**

Brennan sat in her darkened living room, thinking. The joy of having Booth back in her life had been diminished and the sense of loss had set back in. this time it was Zack. He wasn't dead, but he certainly wasn't coming back.

Brennan sighed.

"Bones? You in there?" Booth's voice floated through the quiet apartment. Brennan heard the front door close, and footsteps approaching her. "Bones?" He asked quietly.

She turned to face him. She didn't say anything. Booth knelt down and enveloped her in a hug. Brennan clutched the lapels of Booth's jacket, holding him close, crying into his neck. All the emotions of the past few weeks surfaced as she cried.

"Shh, it's okay." Booth whispered, running his fingers through her hair. He sighed, and cast his eyes around Brennan's living room. It was still as neat as ever, possibly neater, as though she'd thrown herself into cleaning to distract herself from the events occurring in her life. Eventually, Brennan fell asleep in Booth's arms, so he gently lifted her up and carried her to her bedroom. He ay her down and smiled tenderly at her. He brushed a strand of hair from her face and bent down to press a gentle kiss to her forehead. Straightening up, he turned to leave, until his gaze fell into her bedside table. Sticking out from underneath Brennan's amp was a folded piece of paper. Curiosity got the better of him, so he slipped the piece of paper out and unfolded it.

'Dear Booth,' it started. Booth began to read the letter, the open outpouring of grief. Booth saw in some places the writing was smudged, tears perhaps? By the time Booth got to the end, his eyes were prickling. He looked down at his partner as she slept.

"Oh Bones." He sighed. Something stirred in him. She loved him? Really and truly? He sank down on the bed beside her, and lay down, instinctively wrapping his arms around her. In her sleep, she pressed closer to him and gave a little sigh. Booth smiled to himself. Who knew this woman was capable of such tenderness and emotion?

Brennan woke the next morning to the feel of Booth pressed against her back. He was snoring lightly. Booth's arms were wrapped around her, one resting lightly on her stomach, beneath her shirt. She sighed at the feeling.

"Morning." Booth muttered when he woke up shortly after Brennan did.

"Morning." Brennan replied.

"Uh, I'm sorry." Booth apologised as he removed his hand from Brennan's stomach.

She gave a disappointed sigh as he did so.

"I read your letter." Booth said quietly.

"Letter?" Brennan asked.

Booth held up the letter.

"Oh, that." Brennan said. "Uh…"

"It's okay, Bones. I understand. And believe me, I love you too."

Brennan rolled over to stare at Booth. "You do?"

Booth chuckled. "Bones, I have for a long time. I've just been waiting for you to catch up with your feelings."

Brennan sighed. "I… I don't really know my feelings, Booth. I mean, what I wrote, that was true. I stick by that. I…" She swallowed. "I really think I love you, Booth." She said quietly.

Booth smiled. "Yeah, I know." He looked thoughtful. "Am I really your soulmate?"

Brennan nodded. "I think so."

"That's good." Booth replied. "'Cause you're mine too."

Brennan smiled properly for the first time since Booth's apparent death.

Booth loved to see her smile, and he leant forward to tentatively kiss her on the lips.

Brennan responded eagerly, rolling on top of Booth, and kissing his face, his lips, his neck.

Booth reciprocated in turn, kissing Brennan's jaw, her collarbones, her face. He tenderly held her face in his hands as he kissed her lips. Brennan melted into the embrace and kissed him back, trying to convey her confused feelings through her actions.

"We should get going to work." Brennan muttered in between being kissed by Booth, and kissing him back.

"We'll take the day off." Booth replied huskily.

"I can't do that, Booth." Brennan said, as Booth's hands ran up her sides, over her ribcage. She moaned at the contact and pushed her self closer to him. "I have so much work to do now that Zack's gone."

Booth sighed. "I'm actually gonna miss that kid."

Brennan rested her forehead against Booth's and sighed too. "So am I. Very much. He was a very talented young man."

They rested like that for a while longer. Just being comforted by each other's presence.

Finally Brennan sighed and rolled off to the side. "I really need to go Booth. The Jeffersonian is an anthropologist short, and I now have a lot more lab work to do."

"I suppose." Booth replied.

Brennan kissed him sweetly. "Will you drop by at all? Or will I see you tonight?"

Booth shrugged. "Might drop in, might not. I haven't decided yet." He leant closer to Brennan, as if to tell a secret. "But you'll definitely see me tonight." He said in low tones.

Brennan shivered. "Oh?"

"Dinner, you and me. No interruptions. I'll pick you up from the Jeffersonian at 7."

Brennan smiled. "I look forward to it."

"As do I." Booth replied. Then he nudged her in the side, causing her to almost fall off the bed.

"Hey!"

"Hey!" Booth mimicked. "Go. Get to work. I'll see you later."

Brennan rolled her eyes as Booth snuggled back under the blankets and went back to sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

**To See You Again**

**A/N: My laptop died :( *sigh* At least we have a PC so I can still get on the net. I was feeling a bit down, so writing this helped to make me feel better. If only the show actually had some of this sort of stuff in it. :) I hope you like it.**

Booth walked into Brennan's office at 6:53pm. Brennan looked up in surprise from where she was sitting behind her desk. "Booth?"

"Bones." He replied with an exaggerated glance at his watch.

She gasped and checked her watch too. "Oh, Booth, I'm so sorry." She jumped up and began grabbing at her personal effects.

"Hey, relax, Bones." Booth said with a chuckle. "There's no hurry. We have reservations for 8 o'clock."

Brennan raised a quizzical eyebrow.

Booth shrugged. "I knew you'd lose track of the time."

Brennan glared at him. "I don't lose track of the time. I was working."

"Working. Sure thing. You're always working." Booth sighed. "You need to get a life, Bones."

"I have a life. I have you, don't I?" Brennan walked towards Booth slowly, as though stalking prey.

Booth smiled. "Yes you do, Bones, yes you do." He engulfed her in a hug, leaning his chin on her head.

"Ah hem." There was a cough from the doorway, and Brennan shoved Booth away.

"Oh, don't stop on my behalf." Angela said with a grin.

"We weren't doing anything!" Brennan said. "We were just getting ready to leave."

"Oh? Where are you going?" Angela asked in typical Angela fashion.

"Nowhere." Brennan said at the same time Booth said. "Dinner."

Angela raised an eyebrow and grinned. "Dinner, hey?"

Brennan blushed, and glared up at Booth.

"What?" He asked innocently.

Brennan rolled her eyes. "We're going out for dinner, like we always do." She told Angela.

"Right." Said Angela. "Sure. Have fun." She left Brennan's office.

Brennan turned to Booth. "I'm not ready to tell everyone about us yet."

Booth looked at her closely. "I know."

Brennan looked relieved. "Let's go, then."

"That's the best idea you've had in a long time." Booth replied. "Let's go."

Booth stared at Brennan across the table. They were sitting in a secluded corner of a nice restaurant, hidden from view of the other customers. There were candles on the table, and Booth stared lovingly at Brennan.

"What? Is there something on my face?" Brennan asked, a hand coming up to her face.

"No. No, I was just… there's nothing on your face. I was thinking that you're really beautiful tonight." He replied.

Brennan smiled. "Thanks." She said quietly.

Booth reached across the table and gently took Brennan's hand. "Why did it take my death for you to admit to yourself how you felt?" He asked quietly.

Brennan looked away. "I…" She sighed. "It's hard, Booth. Everything is just so confusing." She looked back at Booth, her eyes wide. "I'm confused. These feelings I have, I… find them hard to understand."

Booth ran his thumb across Brennan's hand. "Everything about love is confusing. It takes a lot to understand. Most people just go with it. So… just go with it, Bones. Don't think about it. Just feel."

Brennan looked across at Booth. "I don't know what that means."

Booth chuckled. "I haven't heard you say that in a while."

Brennan smiled slightly, and looked down at Booth's thumb, which was still tracing patterns on her hand. She flipped her hand over, and brought her other hand over Booth's. They sat in silent contemplation, until the moment was broken by a waiter bringing food.

Brennan fell onto Booth's bed, Booth soon following, landing on top of her.

Brennan giggled as he landed, and kissed him thoroughly.

Booth pulled back. "Did you just giggle?"

Brennan looked coyly up at him. "Maybe I did."

Booth swooped down and kissed her again, causing her to moan into his mouth.

"Maybe I like it when you giggle." Booth murmured.

She giggled again, before rolling them over so she was on top. She kissed along Booth's jaw, and muttered, "You have a prominent mandible, and zygomatic bones."

Booth raised an eyebrow, while Brennan continued to kiss him, moving down to his collarbone. "Right." He said. "So, what? I'm hot?"

Brennan looked up at him from her spot on his chest. "Oh, very." She whispered huskily.

Booth chuckled, and hauled Brennan up to kiss her again, before rolling them over, and peeling off her shirt. Brennan raised her arms as Booth pulled the shirt over her head, before kissing her again. His hands moved towards her breasts, caressing, making her moan and writhe beneath him, all the while he was still kissing her.

Brennan soon got a bit restless, and flipped them again, removing Booth's shirt and running her hands down his chest, scraping lightly. He groaned into her mouth, and his hands moved to the back of her bra, unclasping it, and pulling it off. Brennan arched into him as he ran his hands over her breasts. She moaned as Booth kissed her neck, and then her breasts. His hands moved to her pants, and he, with Brennan's help, pushed them down over her hips, and off her legs completely. They landed on the floor in a heap, soon followed by Booth's as well. Both Booth and Brennan were panting by now, eager to continue with their current activity. Booth ripped Brennan's knickers off her body, and she his boxers. Booth sank into her willing body and they both groaned. They started up a rhythm, and soon they both fell over the edge.

"I love you, Temperance." Booth whispered in Brennan's ear.

"I… I love you, Booth. Seeley. Seeley Booth." Brennan whispered back. "I do, I really do."

Booth held her close, and kissed her forehead. "Go to sleep, Bones. Tomorrow is a brand new day."

"Brand new life." Brennan whispered back, snuggling closer to Booth. "You and me."

"You and me." Booth agreed. "Against the world."

Brennan chuckled sleepily. "Against the bad guys."

"Crime fighting duo extraordinaire." Booth whispered back.

"I love you." Brennan whispered again, still getting used to saying the words.

"I love you too." Booth replied. "Forever."


End file.
